[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Top text reads: “Try exposure therapy for S.A.D.” Bottom text: “Give yourself too much anxiety and relapse.”]
Trigger Warning: Self-Harm, Suicide
I’m visiting a relative I don’t really know that well so that I can spend time with my younger cousins that I really adore. While it’s wonderful to be around three kids who adore me and want to be around me constantly, I get constant anxiety when talking to or being around my uncle. I thought this would be a great exercise to work on exposure therapy.
However, since I got here I have wanted to cut (luckily I didn’t bring anything that would cut me) and just die. I relapsed into sleeping 24 hours. I have wanted to just die multiple times instead of having to live another day feeling this amount of guilt/shame over mistakes my mind perceives to be there.
But I am holding on and thinking about how it’s only short-term. Also, digging my nails into my forearm helps when I’m walking about the house…