Waiting at the hospital for a follow up with my new ob-gyn doc who is apparently running 20 minutes late.
I feel kind of weird cuz the reproductive surgery is merged with fertility docs. Aka this moody, single and relatively skin hungry 21 year old is beside eager couples and women full of baby thoughts and hormone shots. Ugh.
Endometriosis should be renamed: that time you wanted sex but were more afraid of uterus pains and throwing up.
Or that time you did anyway and then instant regret.
Or that time you seriously considered whether pummeling your uterus would help :p
Let me draw you a sad pictogram of my life. It looks like a frowny uterus
Random thoughts I figured other women would relate to.
(Source: msannthropic, via lovelyday2bme)
I hate when doctors ask me to rate my pain from 1 to 10. HATE IT. it’s hard to tell anymore. what used to be a 8 is now like a 4 because i’m used to it. i’m tougher. because i’m saving the 8 for when it’s a normal person’s 20. Although i feel like saying “4,” i feel like it makes it seem like only a wussy irritation when it still hurts as bad as the 8. i don’t want to be used to it. i just want it to go away.
or maybe give us a pain scale from 1-100. I want to say 8 so they take me more seriously (or maybe they do already, I don’t know). but i mumble “four” and pray they read between the lines.
Chronic Pain person’s scale:
- why even bring it up?
- meh, minor irritation
- alright I don’t like this at all
- this sucks
- time to take something
- yikes, time to double the dose or take a nap or both
- i hate my life. i hate my life. i hate my life.
- deep breathing, take a bath, grit teeth, take more meds. try not to panic.
- call the doctor
Regular person’s scale:
- this sucks, post pain status on facebook
- time to take something
- take a bath, deep breathing, try not to panic
- double the dose or take a nap
- call the doctor, possible trip to ER
- go to ER
- probably dying
- demanding morphine
- all out hysteria
What do you fellow spoonies think about the 1-10 scale?
i think i figured out where the hopelessness comes from.
when you’re chronically ill, life loses it’s possibility. you never wake up and wonder what you could go do, you don’t make plans. you just bear down and merely try to exist through what you have to.
That hardly anyone (apart from people with Endometriosis) know that Marilyn Monroe had Endometriosis. Hence painkillers, hence death. Why is this not public knowledge? Why did I not know this, why doesn’t everyone know this?
If she had had cancer, everyone would have known. If she had died in a plane crash, everyone would have known. God forbid she merely had some unforgettable “women’s disease”..
If there is once thing I need, it’s for society to sympathize less, and empathize more.
HOW am I in such pain right now?
I only have one ovary/fallopian tube! And I’m on pillz consistently/nonstop.
SO WHY IS THERE A CHIPMUNK BURROWING IN MY LOWER ABDOMEN?