things my okcupid profile would say if I were being bluntly honest:

what I’m doing with my life: 

haphazardly attempting undergrad, round two. even in my fourth semester here, I feel as though I am hanging by a thread as multiple chronic physical and mental illnesses ravage through. 

not working, full or part time due to ability restrictions.

living at Home with the rents and sister and dogs. because this 21 year old can’t take care of herself on many accounts. 

favorite foods/tv/music/etc: 

I stopped eating “normally” sr. year of high school as food sensitivity and allergy bloodwork came back. after almost four years now of gluten/dairy/corn/soy/yeast free diet attempts, I have a shitty relationship with food which has most recently turned into me retaliating and eating crap. also, depression pretty much zaps any appetite, so there’s that too. 

anxiety + depression made music too overwhelming. nearly none in four years.

I will, and I have watched everything on netflix. I kid you not. also, I have a high interest in crime/mysteries because it is interesting enough for me to forget about my own aches and pains, and besides, they’re allllways worse off than I am. 

6 (+) things I could not live without: 

my mother and sister

my art therapist

meds!!! lamictal, cymbalta, lorezapam

my shrink

my acupuncturist

my dogs. 

the most private thing I’m willing to share:

HA. as if. but if we’re being honest and all, I guess this is where I mention that my mother has dragged me from fetal position and washed my hair on multiple occasions, all in the past 24 months. I have also been known to scream like a banshee. 

message me if: 

you’re not terrified? you would voluntarily get to know a girl who is certifiably crazy and sick and chronically, eternally fucked and still, maybe, just maybe, get coffee or tea, and maybe go for a walk in hopes of this turning into something more?

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My mother’s cooking has always given me comfort. But cancer treatment not only confuses my taste buds, but the memory and emotions associated with my favorite childhood foods.

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simply-just-another-girl:

I don’t regret anything. If I could go back in time I would redo certain things but would want to keep my lessons no matter how painful or cruel they were. All the depressions, cutting, strong self hatred and low self esteem hurt. Without them I’d be naive, happy and eventually be crushed later….

(Source: my-lupus-state-of-mind)

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A friendship between two young women spawned laughter, a reality television spin-off idea and a plan to reach out to young adult cancer patients.

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On Monday evening I stood on a stage in front of a thousand people and talked about what I’ve learned since my diagnosis with cancer two years ago at the age of 22.

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Sometimes getting through chemotherapy is all about ignoring the voice in your head that screams “stop,” writes Suleika Jaouad.

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Every month, I go to the hospital to receive outpatient chemotherapy injections for five days in a row. My doctors say this will be my routine for the next year.

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It’s been 16 months since my diagnosis and four months since my bone marrow transplant, and now I want to share what I’ve learned along the way.

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My physical therapist has forbidden me from having sex. of ALL kinds.

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Although I have learned a lot since my diagnosis — and I am trying to be hopeful for the future — living with cancer is also just really, really hard. We don’t always talk about those times. We self-censor many parts of the journey.

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For patients who undergo a bone marrow transplant, the 100th day after the procedure is an important milestone. Suleika Jaouad celebrates her 100th day.

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The “Life, Interrupted” columnist, Suleika Jaouad, will host an hour-long Facebook conversation about living with cancer in your 20s, tomorrow at 4 p.m. New York time.

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In the cancer world, the term “survivor” is as ubiquitous as it is hard to define.

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“Why do good people suffer or why do bad things happen to good people?” This question seems to be very common these days. It seems as though good people get the brunt of all suffering, while evil-doers enjoy life. But if we observe closely, we see that everyone undergoes suffering in some form. Keeping this in mind, our question becomes meaningless. Just because a person is good does not mean there would be no suffering in his/her life.

(Source: addtoany.com)

Tags: Life

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